A quick update …

I’ve not written in this space for a long time. To quote Obi-Wan, “*pregnant pause* A long time.”

(Yeah. If you thought I wasn’t still a huge nerd, I’m sorry to disappoint.)

A lot has changed around our house.

Firstly, we moved. Away from our first house, away from the intentional community of which we were a part. There’s been a lot of pain. And a lot of joy. And a LOT of thinking, healing, growing. It has not been easy, and that was a huge part of why this space became quiet.

Even bigger a change is that we’ve added another child to our family. The pregnancy was … unexpected. And the journey was HARD. Really, really, really hard. But our new son, Atticus, has brought us so very much joy.

Gwen is nearing four … Gil turned two in February.

I look forward to getting to know all of you again. It’s good to be back :)

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Gil Update: Six Months Old!

*Gah! I thought I hit ‘post’ on this post last week, but apparently I hit ‘save’. And I was wondering where all the comments were – duh!*

I know, I know, I’m a little bit late, but better late than never!

My little boy is six months old. SIX MONTHS! Half a year! Where on earth did the time go? Read the rest of this entry »

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Snack Bags: Redesigned!

My dad takes a ridiculous amount of vegetables to work every day to snack on. My mom packs them in plastic baggies (the fold-top kind) and he, sadly, throws them away every day. (I know. It hurts me, too!) My mom said she’d bought him some re-usable containers and he complained that they took up too much space and thus wouldn’t use them. So, for Father’s Day, I decided to take it upon myself to make my dad a reusable snack bag.

My old design was alright – but I really don’t like velcro. Why?

  • if you pack a snack with crumbs, it gets all in embedded in it
  • it closes when you don’t want it to
  • it’s hard for little hands to open or keep open
  • it’s loud
  • it’s irritating to sew, and lastly
  • it’s a plastic product, and I’d like to be able to make these out of completely non-plastic supplies

So, I took to the internet and checked out various designs. I adapted some of what I saw and came up with the following – keep in mind, it’s a large bag … I’m planning to make some more soon that aren’t quite so big! The bag is two layers of cotton with ripstop nylon in between to give it some water resistance.

The bag closes by folding over both layers of cloth and securing the flap to the body with a button and a loop of cotton yarn – yay for renewable resources! (Yes. The button is plastic. But it could be wood!)

This snack bag measures around 20cm x 30 cm on the smallest setting – 20cm x 40cm on the largest.

I hope he uses it every day and loves it! When I make my next one, I’ll do a tutorial 😀

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Sleep .. or lack thereof.

Interestingly, I’m finding that adding a second child to our family has not, overall, made me nearly as tired as I thought it might.

Mind you, I’m napping when I can and going to bed a LOT earlier these days than I ever have – probably since grade 7 or 8 … maybe even earlier. I was a bit of an insomniac in those grades …

Gil falls asleep sometime between 7 & 8, we normally start Gwen’s bedtime around 8, and after my part is done (pj’s & diaper, nursing if she wants it, and tooth brushing), I head to bed with Gil curled up beside me. If it’s before 9, I might read for a bit, or like one night this week, enjoy a tv show with Brad.

Mostly, though, I’ve realized that I will only need to go to sleep that early for so long … because before too long, Gil will be sleeping well enough that I can ‘enjoy’ my evenings again.

I’m find this excerpt from Conscious Transitions – Motherhood: Layers of Letting Go to be very true of myself, emphasis mine:

But the main difference between my experience this time is so simple: I go to sleep earlier! I put Asher to bed, then I put Everest to bed and fall asleep with him. Most nights, I’m asleep between 8:30 and 9 pm. So even though I’m still woken up several times during the night and am usually awake for the day by 5 am, I feel relatively rested most days.

Here’s the thing: with Everest, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my evening hours in favor of sleep. I would have rather been exhausted than give up my private time or time with my husband at the end of the day. The sacrifices as a new mother were so overwhelmingly numerous that I couldn’t bear to let go of one more thing – especially something so essential as time separate from my child. More shocking than the sleep deprivation was what felt like an almost total obliteration of my separate selfhood. I grieved many things in the first months of new motherhood but at the core of the grief was the loss of self and the loss of the freedom I had before becoming a mother.

With the second child, I’ve already adjusted to having significantly less time to myself and the lack of freedom. I don’t experience it as a loss anymore because there’s an acceptance that this is what life is with young children. And over the last 5 1/2 years, I’ve learned how to find my separateness even when I’m in proximity to my kids.

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Day Two!

Today, I ventured out to the park! I called around and made sure that a friend or two would be there first and then bit the bullet … and it went much better than I could have anticipated! Thankfully, it appears that when you’ve got a newborn, other people really help out with the toddler :)

I’m falling more and more in love with Gil – all the while acknowledging that the newborn phase is not my favourite! Saying that out loud and being okay with it is allowing me to move past that guilt and move into a space of being with him more fully and more intentionally enjoying this time. Read the rest of this entry »

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One Week Old!

Happy one week, little man! Today you weighed 7lbs even – a full 4 oz over your birth weight! You seem to be gaining about 6 oz every two days … which translates to a LOT of time nursing you. I don’t mind much, although your big sister is a little jealous.

Here are some random facts I’ve learned about you in the last week:

  • You hate having your diaper changed just slightly more than you hate being unlatched from my breast
  • You are a switch nurser – at each feed, I switch you from side to side multiple times … someday I hope you go down to only one or two breasts per feed!
  • When you sneeze, you whack yourself in the head … it’s quite cute!
  • You definitely recognize both your daddy’s and Gwen’s voices

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The Birth Story of William (Gil) Farrell

Here follows the birth story of our son, Gil. If you don’t enjoy reading the more graphic details of birth, I’d suggest not reading it :)

Read the rest of this entry »

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Christmas – finally.

Yeah, I know. It’s January 24th and I’m just now talking about Christmas.

What can I say? Having people at home during the day means I don’t feel like blogging so much!


Read the rest of this entry »

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New Baby!

Congrats to my big sister, Jenny, who had her second baby, a little girl, born AT HOME yesterday afternoon after a 3.5 hour labour :)

Introducing Alice Catherine, 9lbs, 21″ – isn’t she absolutely beautiful??

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Merry Christmas!

I can’t believe that 2009 is nearing it’s end already. I feel like the last few months have gone by in a blink and I’m terrified to think about the fact that after this holiday season is said and done, I’ll be due to have a baby in just 6 weeks.


Wish me luck as tomorrow I host my first Christmas with my family! My sister Jenny is heavily pregnant and, truth be told, we all assumed she’d have had a baby by now, so she wasn’t planning to come home for the holidays. My sister Becky didn’t think she was going to be able to make it to Ontario over Christmas, but ended up sneaking over for a few days before heading back to spend Christmas with her fiance. This is, literally, the first year we have not all been home for Christmas. Waking up in my parents’ house, having a quick snack with tea/coffee, heading downstairs to a beautifully decorated living room strewn with presents and spending the day with one another. This is the weirdest Christmas Eve I’ve ever experienced. It’s not bad … just very, very different.

This Christmas, I will, for the first time, wake up in the house that I own with my husband and daughter. We’ll enjoy a Christmas morning feast with my brother-in-law and get the turkey in the oven. My parents will be making their way to my house around noon and we’ll be opening gifts and stockings. I’m planning dinner for around 3:00 pm. This will be the first turkey I’ve made!


Like I said, wish me luck!

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