Reintegrating
It’s odd. I’ve had a hard time thinking about what to blog this last week since we came back from our vacation.
We spent a week at a cottage in Kincardine, Ontario with another family - our good friends and their two kids, who are almost the exact same age as our kids.
We spent a week playing with kids, enjoying the water and sand, talking, cooking, and eating very good food.
But to me, what was most wonderful, was the tribe-like atmosphere. Other adults to talk to - about superficial things, deep things, and everything in between. Other adults to share in the childcare, to give each of us a few much-needed breaks. To hold a baby while the other was doing something else for a moment.
To be completely honest, I felt absolutely no desire to check to see if I had new blog comments, to check out a forum I’m a part of, to check and see what was happening on Facebook. I’ll admit I did, once, think about checking my email, but that’s it.
There’s nothing wrong with social media, per se, but I can see how it’s a very poor substitution for actual human interaction. Being online leaves me feeling like I’ve wasted my time; like I’ve taken a ‘break’ but haven’t really rested; like I’d like the last 20 mins/hour/evening of my life back to do things that matter.
Being in the presence of real people who share your passions and who talk back in real time … with whom you can talk at the same time as making dinner or nursing your baby or taking a walk on the beach or setting the toddler up to colour … is just so very different than the things with which we have replaced such interactions.
And, I believe, so much healthier for not only ourselves, but most of all, our children.
Sometimes I wonder: If the people who devote so much time and energy to building online communities could put half the time into developing our physical communities … what would happen?
Jen said,
August 15, 2010 @ 5:20 am
Great post, Kim. I agree that we all waste a lot of time online that could be much better spent. I think that same community atmosphere is what I loved about our cottage trip. It was chaotic, yes, with 4 kids 2 and under but it was also nice just to be with others, have an extra pair of hands if needed. The talking, cooking, relaxing…therapy much needed for the soul! Looking forward to hearing more about it Thursday.
Kathryn said,
August 15, 2010 @ 5:47 am
I agree.
Nadine said,
August 15, 2010 @ 11:01 pm
In a somewhat stark contrast to our cottage experience - I just came back from a few days at my Aunt’s place where she owns her own business, her husband works out of town during the weekdays, and her 11 yr old son and 13 yr old daughter are left to their own devices all day long. It was boring up there, and lonely making. We were so glad to get home yesterday and get back to normal again.
Rae said,
August 17, 2010 @ 10:57 pm
We just spent a week away at a cottage with our extended family and I feel like you are speaking for me! It was so good to have people around! Community is so vital in child-raising. I think the reason I spend so much time on this darn machine during the day is because I’m lonely in my house by myself. When there are people around to chat with during naptime, and share chores with so that naptime isn’t one giant to-do list, life is so much more enjoyable.
How can we transfer this into our home lives…?
Nicole said,
August 18, 2010 @ 7:04 am
Great post Kim. I’ve taken breaks from being online and the sad thing is that people will actually start to worry about me…after 2 days!!! Two days people. It’s not a lifetime. I am not dying because I’m not online :-/ I do have a life other than my computer
Tammy said,
August 19, 2010 @ 3:23 am
SOOOOO true Kim.