Comments on: Trusting kids: sleep http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/ Sun, 20 May 2012 18:07:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Christine http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1830 Christine Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:56:06 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1830 Just popping over to cheer you on!! Just popping over to cheer you on!!

]]> By: Nadine http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1817 Nadine Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:39:06 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1817 Here's my two cents for what it's worth. N has always slept with us - since he was a newborn and he's 22 months now - we tried the crib for a couple of weeks at the beginning but I got too tired to get out of bed at night and found it easier just to have him beside me (we breastfeed). N's dislikes blankets (like his Mommy!) and then would get cold and wake up - and Daddy likes piles of blankets and to be super-warm, so there were some serious issues until we figured that out!! Reading "Nighttime Parenting" helped out there! N's a wiggle-worm too - feet in the face are quite common - so he now sleeps in his crib with the fourth side off - butted up against our mattress on the floor. He cuddles Daddy when he needs to and now that our newborn sleeps with us as well, if N needs to nurse, Daddy and I switch places temporarily. Tom wasn't impressed at ruining the look of his carefully chosen bedroom set but I'm a little more stubborn than he is and made it clear that if N went to another room, he would be sleeping all alone. I think Daddy was tempted to think that sounded good at times! Overall, I think we all get the maximum amount of sleep we can and it's working out for us. I've been a real cop about bedtimes lately though, and Daddy has the bedtime routine as his job. Sometimes it does take a long time to get N to sleep - he's just not tired! Lots of times, Daddy just puts on his pj's too and they go to bed - the newborn and I follow when he's done nursing for the night and everyone else is asleep. I'm always the last to go to bed at night (about 10:00pm). Last night we tried out letting N stay up to watch BSG with us and eat popcorn - he was ready for bed as soon as it was over and let us know he was ready by bringing his books and saying 'books' - that's part of the bed-time routine. All in all it worked pretty well, and since the days are getting so much longer now I think I'll just let it ride as long as we don't start totally getting our days and nights mixed up. It would be nice if we could enjoy the summer evenings outside instead of struggling to get a toddler to go to bed while it's still light outside! Thanks for helping me loosen the reins a bit, Kim! Here’s my two cents for what it’s worth. N has always slept with us - since he was a newborn and he’s 22 months now - we tried the crib for a couple of weeks at the beginning but I got too tired to get out of bed at night and found it easier just to have him beside me (we breastfeed).

N’s dislikes blankets (like his Mommy!) and then would get cold and wake up - and Daddy likes piles of blankets and to be super-warm, so there were some serious issues until we figured that out!! Reading “Nighttime Parenting” helped out there!

N’s a wiggle-worm too - feet in the face are quite common - so he now sleeps in his crib with the fourth side off - butted up against our mattress on the floor. He cuddles Daddy when he needs to and now that our newborn sleeps with us as well, if N needs to nurse, Daddy and I switch places temporarily.

Tom wasn’t impressed at ruining the look of his carefully chosen bedroom set but I’m a little more stubborn than he is and made it clear that if N went to another room, he would be sleeping all alone. I think Daddy was tempted to think that sounded good at times!

Overall, I think we all get the maximum amount of sleep we can and it’s working out for us. I’ve been a real cop about bedtimes lately though, and Daddy has the bedtime routine as his job. Sometimes it does take a long time to get N to sleep - he’s just not tired! Lots of times, Daddy just puts on his pj’s too and they go to bed - the newborn and I follow when he’s done nursing for the night and everyone else is asleep. I’m always the last to go to bed at night (about 10:00pm).

Last night we tried out letting N stay up to watch BSG with us and eat popcorn - he was ready for bed as soon as it was over and let us know he was ready by bringing his books and saying ‘books’ - that’s part of the bed-time routine. All in all it worked pretty well, and since the days are getting so much longer now I think I’ll just let it ride as long as we don’t start totally getting our days and nights mixed up. It would be nice if we could enjoy the summer evenings outside instead of struggling to get a toddler to go to bed while it’s still light outside!

Thanks for helping me loosen the reins a bit, Kim!

]]> By: Claire http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1816 Claire Tue, 13 Apr 2010 19:21:44 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1816 It never ceases to amaze me how different all kids are; how one mum's perfect solution is another's complete nightmare lol! We live in a house of happy, no-cry bedtimes and I thank my lucky stars every day. We never did 'cry it out' or other such hideous processes, I have always listened to my instinct with regard to responding to his need to be picked up, fed, cuddled etc. Through gentle persistence we taught our son to self-soothe and sleep through the night alone. There is no way I could comfortably give up my 'me time', and in our house if I wait until the point when A is visibly tired, then the point at which he will go happily and easily to sleep by himself in his room is often already past. For about the first six weeks of his life he was with me ALL the time, 24/7 and I have to say I found this physically and emotionally very difficult. When we started putting him upstairs at bedtime, before we went up ourselves, was when I began to feel 'normal' again after his birth. At 5 months we put him in his own room and even though I had to get up 2/3 times a night to breastfeed, my sleep in between was of a much better quality and again, I felt more like my old self. Maybe it makes me selfish, but I needed to have a clearer boundary of where my child stopped and I began. It never ceases to amaze me how different all kids are; how one mum’s perfect solution is another’s complete nightmare lol! We live in a house of happy, no-cry bedtimes and I thank my lucky stars every day. We never did ‘cry it out’ or other such hideous processes, I have always listened to my instinct with regard to responding to his need to be picked up, fed, cuddled etc. Through gentle persistence we taught our son to self-soothe and sleep through the night alone. There is no way I could comfortably give up my ‘me time’, and in our house if I wait until the point when A is visibly tired, then the point at which he will go happily and easily to sleep by himself in his room is often already past. For about the first six weeks of his life he was with me ALL the time, 24/7 and I have to say I found this physically and emotionally very difficult. When we started putting him upstairs at bedtime, before we went up ourselves, was when I began to feel ‘normal’ again after his birth. At 5 months we put him in his own room and even though I had to get up 2/3 times a night to breastfeed, my sleep in between was of a much better quality and again, I felt more like my old self. Maybe it makes me selfish, but I needed to have a clearer boundary of where my child stopped and I began.

]]> By: Brandy http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1808 Brandy Tue, 13 Apr 2010 03:32:44 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1808 My brain has learned to differentiate moving to move and moving/crying for need. Last night she got her covers real messed up and could not figure them out in her sleep state so I helped. I can also tell her to 'ssshh" and "You're ok, go to sleep" and she will if she's in the right stage of sleep. It hasn't always been that way tho. Kim, I remember how much you guys worked with her and agonized and all the rest. That is the trial of the first born I think. We find our footing and we learn as we go. You guys did what you thought she needed. I would love my own space some nights :) Tonight I'd love to go get into my big deep tub alone. But no way that's gonna happen when she's sleeping 10 ft away :) and I'm ok with that really!!! Feeling uneasy about some stuff and could use the relaxation but I will live ;) My brain has learned to differentiate moving to move and moving/crying for need. Last night she got her covers real messed up and could not figure them out in her sleep state so I helped. I can also tell her to ’ssshh” and “You’re ok, go to sleep” and she will if she’s in the right stage of sleep. It hasn’t always been that way tho.

Kim, I remember how much you guys worked with her and agonized and all the rest. That is the trial of the first born I think. We find our footing and we learn as we go. You guys did what you thought she needed.

I would love my own space some nights :) Tonight I’d love to go get into my big deep tub alone. But no way that’s gonna happen when she’s sleeping 10 ft away :) and I’m ok with that really!!! Feeling uneasy about some stuff and could use the relaxation but I will live ;)

]]> By: kim http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1807 kim Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:54:42 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1807 Kathryn, I can completely understand and respect that!! In some ways, I wish it were like that here, too, but my kids won't go for it and trying to get them to is SOOOOO not worth the time/effort. And the more I relax and let go, the more I enjoy it. I used to wake up to every sniffle/movement too, with Gwen, but after the first week or two I got used to it. Kathryn, I can completely understand and respect that!! In some ways, I wish it were like that here, too, but my kids won’t go for it and trying to get them to is SOOOOO not worth the time/effort. And the more I relax and let go, the more I enjoy it. I used to wake up to every sniffle/movement too, with Gwen, but after the first week or two I got used to it.

]]> By: Kathryn http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1806 Kathryn Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:59:05 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1806 I'll be the different one. This is one area I am not AP. Sorry, can't do it. I tried sleeping with Nadia next to me in a bassinet when she was just a newborn, I could not get any sleep, at all. I woke to every single sniffle, movement against the sheets, whatever. I awoke. I blame a lot of things on PPD, but it's true! Sometimes the best thing for Nadia and Rhys was being away from me, because I would have lost it on them. I'm serious. Rhys and Nadia both go to their own beds at night and Andrew and I have our own space. I needed that. I still need that. But that's me. So much of me is for my kids, but for me and my sanity, my bed is my husband and I"s. And I like it that way. I’ll be the different one. This is one area I am not AP. Sorry, can’t do it. I tried sleeping with Nadia next to me in a bassinet when she was just a newborn, I could not get any sleep, at all. I woke to every single sniffle, movement against the sheets, whatever. I awoke. I blame a lot of things on PPD, but it’s true! Sometimes the best thing for Nadia and Rhys was being away from me, because I would have lost it on them. I’m serious. Rhys and Nadia both go to their own beds at night and Andrew and I have our own space. I needed that. I still need that. But that’s me. So much of me is for my kids, but for me and my sanity, my bed is my husband and I”s. And I like it that way.

]]> By: kim http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1798 kim Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:46:43 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1798 Thanks, ladies!! It seriously KILLS me how long we fought what she clearly needed - to just be with us. It seems so silly now, looking back, but it's obviously been a journey for Brad and I to fully embrace our parenting philosophy! Thanks, ladies!! It seriously KILLS me how long we fought what she clearly needed - to just be with us. It seems so silly now, looking back, but it’s obviously been a journey for Brad and I to fully embrace our parenting philosophy!

]]> By: Nicole http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1796 Nicole Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:04:07 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1796 We work the same way with Mary. Some nights she is ready to crash around 8 or 9, some nights not until after 10. She'll usually just fall asleep where ever she gets comfortable and then when I am ready to go to bed, I will put her in with me. My older two still sleep together (and sleep better that way) as that is what they did when they were toddlers. Now Veronica does not sleep well with me at all. She is very restless and wakes more often during the night if she is in bed with me. She one who definitely needs her own sleep space. Way to go in finding the sleep solution for little Gwen. It's so nice when things run smoothly like that. We work the same way with Mary. Some nights she is ready to crash around 8 or 9, some nights not until after 10. She’ll usually just fall asleep where ever she gets comfortable and then when I am ready to go to bed, I will put her in with me. My older two still sleep together (and sleep better that way) as that is what they did when they were toddlers.

Now Veronica does not sleep well with me at all. She is very restless and wakes more often during the night if she is in bed with me. She one who definitely needs her own sleep space.

Way to go in finding the sleep solution for little Gwen. It’s so nice when things run smoothly like that.

]]> By: Brandy http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/2010/04/12/trusting-kids-sleep/#comment-1792 Brandy Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:53:42 +0000 http://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.com/?p=1370#comment-1792 Kim , I'm so glad you guys have found a solution :) your now sleep habit is what we've been doing forever. It's awesome to find what works and clicks. Yes we love our alone time and we get it. She tells us when she's tired and one of us puts her to bed. If we are tired too we go to bed with her. It's funny even tho she has her own bed butted to ours, essentially an extesion of our bed, we feel the change. And it's good and different. She will a few times a week ask to nap in our bed and I let her. We snuggle and it's so nice. I still wake at night to help her with her covers and find a stray bink ( soon to be gone I hope) and also, we hold hands or she rubs my arm during the night. I love it. I have sincere visions of all 4 of us piled in bed together enjoying our sleeping space. Kim , I’m so glad you guys have found a solution :)
your now sleep habit is what we’ve been doing forever. It’s awesome to find what works and clicks.

Yes we love our alone time and we get it. She tells us when she’s tired and one of us puts her to bed. If we are tired too we go to bed with her.

It’s funny even tho she has her own bed butted to ours, essentially an extesion of our bed, we feel the change. And it’s good and different. She will a few times a week ask to nap in our bed and I let her. We snuggle and it’s so nice. I still wake at night to help her with her covers and find a stray bink ( soon to be gone I hope) and also, we hold hands or she rubs my arm during the night. I love it.

I have sincere visions of all 4 of us piled in bed together enjoying our sleeping space.

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