Comments on: Controlled crying

By: Brandy

Brandy — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:31:53 +0000

a friend on facebook and from college (wife of college mate actually) posted their son is teething and they’ve tried drops, drugs, etc and even letting him try to cry it out.. two people said we don’t do crying it out and one mom retorted that CIO causes no harm and kids need to self soothe.

the ‘kid’ in question? 9 months old.

I liked to your above article and am sitting on my hands not to just say more but it’s a friend of a my firend so not my friend and i dont want to soapbox in her post.. make sense?

CAUSES NO HARM!? and “Hmmmm Kids need to learn how to sooth themselves at times. Crying is not causing harm to your child. It can show them how to be self sufficient.”

SELF SUFFICIENT AT 9 MONTHS?? ugh.

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 01:07:47 +0000

I did CIO with Nadia. It did work. Nadia and I have a strained relationship. I struggle to feel close to her. She prefers Andrew to me. Now that being said, I struggled with these same things before I did CIO. I struggled with them from day one. I also had PPD. I’m sure these are all factors. I was in a different place mentally and did what I had to do to maintain sanity. Fast forward to Rhys, my son. He is almost a year, still nurses 1-2x a night. I’ve thought numerous times I ’should’ get him to sleep through the night. I can’t do it. I did CIO with Nadia at 9 months. And tonight, he usually falls asleep by himself, no crying, he has his bink, but he did not tonight. He’s got a cold and very congested. He was crying and crying and crying. I’d leave the room to see if he’d fall asleep, nope. After about 5 minutes of this I picked him up, nursed him again and held him on my chest in hopes that an upright position would help. It did. He was asleep in 10 minutes. He’s still asleep. I followed my mother instinct and it worked. I still regret some of the ways I mothered Nadia, listening to others and what I ’should’ do. I am definitely doing things different with Rhys. But there is forgiveness. We mothers aren’t perfect.

By: kim

kim — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:45:35 +0000

LOL

By: Brandy

Brandy — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:54:33 +0000

**I think it’s fair to say that if you have to let you baby cry before they’ll fall asleep … maybe they’re not ready to do it on their own yet?**

Ding ding ding.

Ya think?

By: kim

kim — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:46:34 +0000

Nicole, I definitely don’t think attachment parenting is for everyone in our current state of society. I do, however, believe it’s the most natural way to parent! My concern isn’t the kids who are fine after doing CIO/CC … it’s the risk that your kid will NOT respond well … and that’s a risk I’m just NOT willing to take.

Claire, I think you’re totally onto something! We live in a culture that values independence over all else to the extent that we demand it from our smallest members well before they’re emotionally, physically, and psychologically ready. Of course CIO/CC *works* … you’re teaching your child that they can cry all they want, you’re not going to comfort them! I would like to know if anyone has studied why the mothering instinct is so often poo-poo’ed these days. Is it because it’s obsolete now in an era where a baby crying at night won’t get it killed by a predator? Or is it because we don’t value mothering in general anymore? Thanks for sharing that your baby settles to sleep and sleeps through in his own bed - all without you having to let him cry. I think it’s fair to say that if you have to let you baby cry before they’ll fall asleep … maybe they’re not ready to do it on their own yet?

By: Claire

Claire — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:20:30 +0000

I wonder if there’s something about the society we live in that’s causing women to become removed from their natural instincts as mothers - or making them believe that it’s wrong to ‘give in’ to those instincts. I’ve found myself being almost apologetic before about night feeds or cuddling to sleep; but I did those things because they felt right at the time. By being attuned to my baby’s cries, comforting when needed (after 2 seconds or 2 minutes, whenever), and leaving him to it when he was calm and happy, he now sleeps through in his own bed, and settles himself to sleep all the time. I’ve heard so many mums saying “I left him to cry it out and I felt AWFUL, but it worked.” But if you feel awful, imagine how your baby must feel! If your gut instinct is telling you to go to them, then just GO! We’re proof that you can ’sleep train’ without tears.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:10:30 +0000

I have done controlled crying with both of my kids and they are highly intelligent well adjusted very attached and emotionally balanced children. I think for the majority you find this to be true, its only the minority. And if it works for some that’s great. That’s the wonderful thing about parenting, you do what YOU want to do and what is best for your family. I did not let them cry for hours on end. The longest I let them cry on their own was 10 mins and then I went back to 2 mins. It took about an hour of doing that and most of the time I was right by the door or by their cot so they could see me.
Controlled crying isn’t for everyone, neither is attachment parenting. that would of driven me further into depression! So we each do what is best for us and our families You have what works for you and that’s awesome!

By: Brandy

Brandy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:03:21 +0000

Excerpt from book on cortisol and effects on the brain

here’s hoping that worked.. and that’s the last I will post on this I promise ;D

By: kim

kim — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:08:16 +0000

thanks brandy!

By: Brandy

Brandy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:50:08 +0000

ooo here’s a series of interviews with her on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/cbresearch#play/all/uploads-all/2/baek–_1ZfU