kim through
   the looking glass

A blog I frequent, Sarahthedoula, wrote about the language of worship and was asking for suggestions for decent worship music … this quote was really what intrigued me:

For years I have heard people like Michael Frost express the idea that most of the Christian music on the market today is more like a love song than a worship or faith song. I disagreed. I felt that the songs I was singing accurately expressed how I felt about my relationship to God. And then I got married. I suddenly realized that if I substituted N’s name at every mention of God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, the song would still make sense. In fact, it felt like it made more sense.

Brad and I have been in a bit of a funk lately - angry at God, disappointed in The Church (as a whole … not specifically mine). It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to God or sat through a church service or listened to any uplifting worship music, so when I first read her post, I didn’t think I had anything to contribute.

Then, this morning, after Brad had taken Gwen with him for his turn in the church nursery so I could have some Gwen-free cleaning time, I went up to the loft to grab some CDs to clean to. I picked up U2’s No Line On The Horizon, Music From The OC: Mix Five, Radiohead’s Kid A. And on a whim, I picked up Robin Mark’s Revival in Belfast II.

I was planning to listen to the OC soundtrack … or Radiohead. But on another whim, I popped in Robin Mark.

And it was good.

As the familiar sounds and notes and words flooded over me, I felt my Soul lift just a little bit. I felt like I could breathe a little bit more easy. I felt a little bit more connected to the God from whom I have lately felt so distant.

As I listened to the lyrics for the first time in a long time, and allowed myself to start singing along while I worked, Sarah’s words came back to me: could I substitute Brad’s name for God’s in the songs and still have them make sense? Was I really just listening to glorified Christian love songs?

I was so thankful to find that the answer was an emphatic “No”.

His song ‘Soul’s Desire’ has always been a favourite of mine and today these lyrics moved me:

You are my soul’s desire, I was wandering,
I was wandering,
Wandering all my days from my Father’s house
From the heights to the depths Love was calling
Love was calling
Calling out to me, just to bring me home.

Love is calling out to me. God is calling out to me. Just to bring me home. For a while, I will cling to that.